I FIRST SAW the poster for No Strings Attached sometime last December while passing by a fairly large SilverCity theatre in Toronto. Though it was seven months ago, I distinctly recall standing there, looking at this poster, and trying to figure out what the movie was about. Are these characters cheating on someone? Are they comically insecure? Are they in danger? Does one of them kill the other? Do they simply fall in love after having sex? If the latter is true—and plot synopses confirm that it is—then why doesn’t the poster just say that, or at least indicate some kind of tension or conflict?

More importantly: Who thought this poster was a good idea?

Why did this film make money? The production designer—aptly named Ida Random, who was nominated for an Oscar for her art direction on Rain Man before working on Spanglish as well as the third and fourth Fast/Furious movies—would probably tell us that people are very willing to pay $12 to see Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman have sex.

The first time in a long time that I’ve written something casually, for free, for fun. But the site’s worth looking at, and I think my opinions are valid. Probably.